


Tomorrows

by TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 03:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12356460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone/pseuds/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone
Summary: Three years after the end of the story, Pippin is still trying to forget the worse parts of his adventures, but he isn't doing well and Merry notices.





	Tomorrows

Tomorrow is a useful tool, you can cram so much work into a tomorrow and there's so many obligations and responsibilities that tomorrow can hold. In fact, tomorrow was one of Peregrin Took's favorite things, right up there with a hot cup of tea on a fall day, a good jape, a fresh apple scone, fireworks . . . seconds at dinner . . . beer . . . a full pipe . . . well, Pippin had a lot of favorite things, but tomorrow was probably the top of the list.

Of course, sometimes tomorrow was a problem . . . sometimes the best things only happened tomorrow. Pippin sat staring into his tea in front of the fire in his smial late one night, thinking about the past and feeling the weight of many, many yesterdays which were not nearly as useful or exciting as tomorrow. And sometimes yesterday was downright terrifying, all the things he'd gone through and seen, the battles he'd lived through, the monsters he'd killed, it was enough to keep someone awake at night.

Pippin scoffed into the quiet and sipped his tea, blanching when he realized belatedly that he'd left it too long and it'd gone cold. He slowly got up and went to dump the tea back into the kettle over the fire, but he stopped and stared into the flames, the way the tongues of fire flickered and jumped unpredictably, his hand hovering above the kettle crane with the hook in hand. His breathing became slightly ragged and he licked his lips, images of what he saw in the Palantir flashed through his mind he didn't realize he'd dropped the hook and scooted away from the fire, upsetting his tea onto the floor in the process.

It never got better, no matter how many tomorrows came and went and became yesterday, even now as years had gone by since the harrowing journey he and his friends had embarked on. Pippin slowly got up and picked up his mug and using a cozy to mop up the puddle.

He sighed once the mess was cleaned up and sat with his back against the sofa leg, clutching the mug between his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. Tomorrow . . . tomorrow he would deal with this problem of his memories.

* * *

The sun came up and found Pippin sitting on his front stoop, smoking a pipe of Old Toby and watching a troupe of ants busily dismembering a slice of apple he'd dropped earlier. It was rather entertaining to watch the industrious little creatures at their work, how seamlessly they moved here and there in their task. He was so engrossed in the ants that he didn't notice someone was leaning on his postbox until they spoke up,

“How fare the insects this morning, Pip?”

Pippin looked up and smiled a bit, “They're just fine, Merry.”

His cousin and best friend, Meriadoc Brandybuck, or 'Merry', smiled a bit then moved to sit next to Pippin, pulling his own pipe out of his waistcoat pocket,

“Plans today?”

Pippin shrugged, passing his bag to Merry to take a pinch for his pipe,

“No, maybe tomorrow.”

Merry smiled and lit his pipe, “Always tomorrow.”

Pippin smiled widely and leaned on Merry, “You?”

“I was thinking of taking a trip.”

Pippin's back stiffened, “A trip? Where to?”

“Just to Bree, get my armor and sword buffed and maintained, never know when you might need them.” Merry shrugged, looking down at Pippin, “Nothing special, just a week or two away.”

Pippin swallowed, he didn't like it when Merry left the Shire, well, when he left without Pippin, that is. Not since they'd been separated in Rohan had Pippin liked Merry going out of his sight for very long. He was about to ask if he could come along when Merry interrupted his thought,

“You can come with me if you'd like, Pip.”

Pippin perked up immediately and nodded, “I'd like that.”

“Good, we'll be leaving shortly once I get my pony ready.” Merry blew out a smoke ring.

Pippin nodded and closed his eyes while he smoked, he felt safe and content when Merry was around, always had, didn't matter what trouble they got into or who or what they were up against, Merry always kept a level head and knew what to do. Merry was strong and smart and didn't do foolish things like Pippin was wont to do, beyond his own control, of course.

Merry put his hand on Pippin's head, his thumb stroking the dark blonde hair, “You alright, Pip?”

“Mhm, just tired.”

Merry shook his head, “You haven't been sleeping again, have you?”

“I sleep enough.” Pippin mumbled.

“A corpse gets more sleep then you,” Merry muttered, “Your eyes look sunken and you're thinner, please tell me you've been eating.”

Pippin looked up and narrowed his eyes, “Have you _ever_ known me to skip a meal?”

“No, which is why I find your weight loss distressing.” Merry huffed, “Have you eaten today?”

Pippin nodded, “Yes, I've had breakfast.”

“Second-breakfast?” Merry's eyebrow cocked.

“Of course!”

Merry looked up at the sun briefly, “It'll be time for elevensies shortly. We'll take that at my house then we'll get ready to go.”

Pippin nodded, “Fair enough.”

They sat smoking for a bit more then Merry tapped his pipe out on the cobblestone walk and stowed the pipe back in his pocket and stood,

“Shall we?”

Pippin nodded and got to his feet, brushing the seat of his pants off and let Merry lead the way out to the main path. Merry didn't live far from Pippin so it was a short trip and Pippin scuffed his feet at the door and followed Merry into the small dining area, he sat down and watched Merry as the older Hobbit bustled about setting the table. He had put the kettle on before leaving his house so it was whistling loudly by the time Merry pulled it from the stove and set it on a trivet on the table, he set a cup and saucer by Pippin and then a loaf of brown bread, a hefty wedge of goat cheese and a cast-iron dish of thinly sliced venison. Pippin eagerly began filling his plate but paused when he caught Merry watching him intently,

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Merry shrugged, he set a small crock of honey by the kettle, “Will honey be enough for your tea or would you like sugar as well?”

Pippin poured himself a cup of tea and shook his head, “Honey will be all, thank you.”

Merry nodded and sat opposite of Pippin, the stoic Hobbit took out a knife and cut himself some bread, layering some venison and cheese on it and tucking in.

“Bit much for elevensies, isn't this?” Pippin asked through a mouthful of bread as he poured some honey into his tea, grimacing when he put too much but just stirred it in without complaint.

Merry hummed and leaned back, “Figured if we're going to be setting out wouldn't do to get too hungry before we make headway.”

Pippin blinked down at the crumbs gathering around his plate and smacked his lips, he remembered being hungry beyond belief on the long treks with the Fellowship. He remembered it being one of the harder parts, hunger was not something the young Hobbit had ever experienced and it made everything seem so much more dire and hopeless.

“Pip?”

Pippin looked up and smiled, “I'm fine.”

Merry furrowed his brow, “Are you? You're so quiet, I can't even hear you chewing.”

“Truly, I'm alright.” Pippin scooped a glob of honey off the side of the honey-pot with his finger and sucked thoughtfully on it, “Just thinking.”

“About what? You were never very profound in the past.” Merry chewed on a hard bit of crust.

“I know,” Pippin nodded, “I was just thinking about how far Bree is and all that. Quite a walk but we've walked further.”

“Aye,” Merry nodded, “And luckily we won't have to be on foot the entire time.”

“Can Gen carry both of us?” Pippin gestured toward the door in reference to Merry's pony, Gen.

“She'll be fine.” Merry nodded again and poured another cup of tea.

They ate in relative silence the rest of the meal then Pippin helped Merry clean up by washing the dishes they'd used. Merry put the bread and cheese away and began taking out provisions for the journey. He stopped and stared at Pippin's back, the younger Hobbit was so quiet these days, oh he was still as jovial and gregarious as ever, eager for fun and company, but he had long spans of quiet when left on his own to just stare into space with a blank look on his face and Merry's heart hurt to see his Pippin so withdrawn. He remembered seeing that same look on Frodo's face when they'd returned home, Sam said it was from their experiences, things that plagued their minds and dreams.

Merry once asked if Sam had nightmares and the round-faced Hobbit had gone quiet and somber then nodded gravely, his eyes flickering about for a moment. Merry could only assume that Pippin suffered the same, Merry did not feel as they did, but perhaps that was not healthy either.

Merry slowly walked up behind Pippin, his hand reaching out to rest on the shorter's shoulder, noting how Pippin startled at Merry's touch, his head turning and he grimaced, going back to wiping a cup for the fifth time.

“Do you remember . . . That time we got caught pinching sweets?”

Pippin snorted, smiling, “Which time?”

“How about the time with the candied strawberries? Do you remember that time? It was at that one Midsummer party.” Merry put his chin on Pippin's shoulder.

Pippin laughed, “You mean the time we sat under the table and ate so many that we were sick everywhere and our mums tweaked our ears until they were sore and made us do the washing for a week? I remember you saying it was a good idea.”

“It was a capital idea at the time!” Merry defended, slipping his arms around Pippin's waist.

Pippin sighed, leaning back into Merry, “So what about that?”

There was a beat of silence then Merry took a slow deep breath, “I don't know, I just think about things like that from time to time.”

“Me too,” Pippin nodded, drying his hands and chuckling, “I like to think about the silly things we took for granted all our lives, candied berries and festivals and parties.”

“Mhm,” Merry stepped back and patted Pippin between his shoulder blades, “Come on, we should get moving.”

Pippin nodded, “I'll go get my jacket.” 

* * *

Merry led Gen down the path toward the edge of the Shire with Pippin ambling at his side, Pippin chewed on a grass stalk,

“How do you think Frodo is doing?”

Merry shrugged, “No idea.”

“Think he's still going on adventures?”

“Maybe, though I think he got his fill.” Merry patted Gen's neck as they went.

Pippin sighed, “So did I.”

Merry cocked an eyebrow, “I'd say there won't be many great adventures to compare to ours, but I would not turn one down.”

Pippin tilted his head, “Oh?”

Merry shrugged, “Sure, why not? We lived through war and traipsing all across Middle Earth, not a whole lot I can think of that would scare me.”

“. . . oh.”

They walked in silence for a bit before Pippin skipped ahead a bit, walking backward to look at Merry while he walked,

“So, what if the opportunity came about that you were asked to take part in a quest type thing?”

Merry puffed out his cheeks and shrugged, “I don't know, maybe?”

“What if, say . . . tomorrow, you were called to Rohan to serve as a knight? What then?”

“Well, if tomorrow I get the call then I would go. Why?”

Pippin shrugged, reaching into his pack for an apple, “I don't know. It's all hyphenated.”

“Hypothetical.”

“Bless you.”

* * *

Pippin sat with Merry at their campfire, Merry was pouring over a book while Pippin whittled away at a stick. Merry looked over his book and huffed,

“Pip.”

“Mh.” Pippin didn't look up.

“Pippin.”

“Hm?” Pippin broke the stick in half, chucking part of it into the fire while he focused on another bit he was trying to shape into a bear.

“Peregrin.” Merry snapped his book shut.

Pippin looked up, licking his lips, “What?”

“What's wrong?” Merry put his book away and folded his arms on his knees.

Pippin blinked and glanced around, “Wrong? What do you mean? Nothing's wrong.”

“Yes there is, you've been acting strange ever since we got back from the war.” Merry furrowed his brow.

“That was almost three years ago.”

“Aye, it was and I was hoping you would either snap back to your old self or open up to me and you've done neither so let's have it. It's just you, me, and the pony here, so tell me what it is that's worrying you.”

Pippin blinked then shook his head, “There's nothing.”

“That's a lie.” Merry snapped then took a slow breath, “I . . . Pip, I want to help you but I can't do that if you don't let me. I love you, Pip, more than I can express in words and that's saying something, but I can't force you to talk to me.”

Pippin swallowed and stared at his hands, thinking about all the terrifying things that plagued his dreams, but . . .

“Tomorrow.” he whispered, squeezing his eyes closed.

Merry ground his teeth, “Always tomorrow . . . fine.”

* * *

Pippin curled up on his bedroll, he watched Merry as the older Hobbit put the fire out and put his own bedroll out next to Pippin's. He heard Merry lay down and he rolled over, 

"Merry?"

Merry opened one eye, tugging his cloak around himself, "What?"

"I . . . " Pippin swallowed thickly, "I'm cold."

Merry shifted to prop himself up on his elbow, "It's not really that c- . . . " He sighed and held his cloak up, "Come here."

Pippin scooted forward and cuddled up to Merry, tucking his head under Merry's chin and curling one of his hands in Merry's waistcoat. Merry put his arm around Pippin and tucked the cloak around them both, his fingers carding through Pippin's curly hair, breathing in Pippin's particular scent, he smelled like mint and barley sugar. Merry sighed, burying his nose in Pippin's hair,

 "It's alright, Pip, I'm here. I'll never leave you."

Pippin bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, " . . . Even if it's a grand old adventure? Where you'll be a hero?"

Merry chuckled softly, "I was already a hero and so were you."

"I don't feel like a hero . . . "

"You rescued me, remember? You found me on that battlefield among the dead and you took me to safety."

"Of course I did, I love you . . . I promised to take care of you." Pippin whispered, taking a shuddering breath, remembering when he'd found Merry under a corpse thinking he'd been left behind again . . . that feeling never left him.

Merry smiled, "You're my hero, Pippin."

Pippin's eyes opened and grew wide, he looked up at Merry, "I am?"

"You are. Now get some sleep, we still have a ways to go before we reach the Brandywine Bridge." Merry kissed Pippin's forehead and tucked Pippin back under his chin.

Pippin smiled and snuggled closer to Merry, "Tomorrow."

 

 


End file.
